Review: MyChildren MyBride - MyChildren MyBride

Band: MyChildren MyBride
Album: MyChildren MyBride
Year: 2012
Country: USA
Genre: Metalcore

The metalcore movement has become so tired and overrun with so many bands ripping each other off it has become quite off putting. Sure there are still a few bands doing it the right way but they are few and far in between. MyChildren MyBride (from here on out MCMB) are not one of these bands. In fact they epitomize everything that is wrong with the genre. But at least they have there moment.

One of the only times the band seem to do anything interesting and "good" is when they speed things up. For example there are parts on Anathema, Samcro, and Hell or High Water where they produce some decent "fast" paced stuff. But these are unfortunately not numerous enough to change the fact that the album is mired in slow paced start stop riffing and plagued with breakdown after breakdown. I mean sure throw a breakdown in a song but MCMB consistently over do it and frankly it just becomes aggravating. No I'm not even kidding, I literally became annoyed in the process of listening to this album over a few times because the breakdowns bog everything down and sound like garbage.

Vocalist Matt Hastings has an average run of the mill metalcore scream. He is for sure nothing to write home about. There are parts on God of Nothing and Dreamcatchers where he does spoken parts and actually sounds strangely similar to Jonathan Davis from Korn. I thought they may have gotten his to guest on these parts and had to check out the liner notes. Practically all of the lyrics are also done by Hastings and they are truly at an elementary level. Most of the lyrical content is painfully simple and sometimes written and performed in ways which do not flow well with the music. And I'm still confused, is No One Listens, No One Cares supposed to be anti-industry or anti-fan? Listening to the words its difficult to tell which group he is showing disdain for, maybe both?

Mathis Arnell seems to be the only real talented one in the band. His drumming is actually pretty good considering the type of music the band has chosen to play, and I can't help but feel his skills are being underutilized. He throws in nice blasts here and there and generally is a solid drummer. For whatever reason his performance clicked with me most out of the rest of the band. I couldn't hear any of the bass so no comment.

So here you have it, 40 minutes of whiny, simplistic, breakdown rape. I couldn't enjoy this album if you paid me to but surely MCMB has their fans right? They must if they are still making music. Even by metalcore standards this is really sub par stuff. The riffs are cheap and mostly replaced with start stop chugging, the vocalist sounds like any novice metalcore screamer you've heard a thousand times, and the lyrics sound like they were written by an amateur. Don't touch this with a 10 foot pole.

Score: 1.5/10
Standout Tracks: None